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EDU 146 Pitt Community College Kids Misbehave Discussion


Human beings have an intense need to feel connected to other human beings.  We can’t thrive without that connection in our lives.  When children are routinely ignored, isolated, or supervised by the television they begin to feel invisible.  A child who does not feel a sense of belonging may gradually become alienated, rebellious, or withdrawn (Hallowell, 2003).  Much of what is called misbehavior is simply an attempt by the child to become visible one way or another.  

Scenario: You have been working in a preschool classroom for the last four months.  After several observations and comments by colleagues, the director calls you into her office.  She explains that she, along with many of your colleagues, have noticed the effective communication you provide the children in your care and the positive effect it has had on their behavior.  The director has asked that you prepare a presentation for the next staff meeting to highlight some of the strategies you are using in your classroom. 

The Prompt:

Respond to the following prompt(s) for your discussion forum post:

1.  Explain why communication is important for child guidance including the following information:

  • attentive listening
  • three basic needs underlying requests for help
  • positive instructions versus negative commands
  • assertive communication

2.  Identify how you will build relationships through positive communication as an early childhood professional including the following information:

  • How will you help children develop a sense of belonging or connection in your classroom?
  • How will you address underlying feelings?
  • How you will use assertive communication to build relationships with children?
  • How will you use positive communication to promote desired behavior?
  • How will you help children resolve conflicts?

first person to respond to:by Tasia JonesNumber of Replies: 1

1. Communication is important for child guidance because of these four things.

1. Attentive Listening- This the most important factor in any child’s life. Let’s say for example one’s parent is telling their child to pick up their toys. ex: Samantha please pick up your toys and she does not listen. This is called attentive listening. She hears her parent telling her to pick up her toys but Samantha is not listening. In cases like this it is called being an attentive listener which means someone who hears the person but just isn’t listening. These are the more stricter parents because they want their child to listen, so having good communication skills in this situation is very important not only for the parent but to make one a better parent.

2. The three basic underlying requests for help with these three statements:

1. Supporting Responsive Relationships this is referred to the kind of relationship that one has with their child. If the relationship is not healthy then where is the communication? That is the kind of question you ask yourself when trying to comfort or protect the relationship. By the parent supporting the relationship you as a person will feel better about having to have talked about it with someone other than a family member.

2. The next one is to Strength your core skills. This means that there may be some flaws in the relationship that are not damaged but somewhat not well. One should sit down with their child and have a one on one conversation with their child about communication meaning that they can come to you about anything at any time. Making the child feel like they can come to you to help keep the relationship stronger is important. So by doing this no parenting task is impossible but it’s okay to always ask someone for a little help rather than giving up on your child.

3. The last one is very important just as the first two. It is called Reduce the Stress. Make the stress less on yourself when communicating with a child one should not feel overwhelmed with their child, of course it may feel that way at times or when one first has a child, but you can’t take the love or communication away from him or her. Keep the talking alive in their hearts so when one does have a problem when they become older they will say hey my parents taught me how to communicate my problems with them. This is why this is the most important role as a parent being able to reduce not only your stress but your child’s at that matter.

4. Positive instructions are very easy to for a child to understand. Like for example: Kelly may you please wash your hands before you eat dinner. So as you can see Kelly knows that her mother asked her in a positive way to wash her hands before touching food, and she listened carefully. So by her mom not saying it in a mean way Kelly did exactly what she was suppose to do to make not only her mother happy but herself. Now negative commands are the complete opposite because this involves sometimes the parent yelling at the child. One should not ever scream at a child now one way of a negative command is for example: Todd I told you not to run in the classroom why are you not listening? See that is not how you ever want to address a situation like that. Okay Todd was told not to run in the classroom so he doesn’t get hurt, but the way his teacher hurt his feelings. We always want to explain to kids about things like that for safety reasons and, that was a negative command because of how she said it and because of him running in the class. So next time he’ll follow the classroom rules so the teacher does not get upset.

5. Assertive Communication- Can be a good thing or a bad thing. It can be either because it depends on the situation and the parent. For example: Michael can you please clean up your toys? this is assertive communication because Michael’s parent has asked him nicely to pick up his toys. Now another way this could have been said Michael didn’t I tell you to pick up your toys? do it now. See this is way more assertive because she is actually yelling at him to pick them up. So Assertive Communication can be firm or nice it all depends on how one as a parent handles the situation. Also if they will handle it in a mature way.

. How will you build relationships through positive communication as an early childhood professional. 1. how will you help children develop a sense of belonging or connection in the classroom. Okay I would make the child feel welcomed in the classroom. If he or she is playing by themselves then I would positively communicate with them and ask would they like to join the rest of the class in the activity. This way the child knows that no one is ignoring them. As a professional early childhood professional I would like to be open and honest with the child so that way one knows that they have my full attention for them only. Becoming a professional early childhood developer is important because if one’s heart is in it then you have got the right job teaching wonderful kids.

. I would address underlying feelings by asking the child what is the matter. Asking them first may help so one does not feel ignored by the teacher. For example: John bites Todd and does not say sorry I would underlie Todd’s feelings because John bit him for no reason at all. So I would nicely ask john to please apologize to Todd we do not bite people in the classroom or anywhere. This is how a early childhood educator should resolve an issue in the classroom without yelling at the child, just talk to them so they’ll understand it and not become upset.

1. I will use assertive communication to build relationships with children by getting to know them. Getting to know the child is the first step into becoming a successful early childhood education teacher. Never judge them before giving them a chance first. If one wants to stay in the field teaching kids then one as a teacher must find a way to communicate with them before making the next move. I will use assertive communication with them all of the time so the child- teacher relationship can grow and develop the longer their in the classroom with me.

2. How to use positive communication to promote desired behavior? Okay in order to use this kind of positive behavior to keep up desired behavior in the class. Challenge the child’s brain to see and feel what their really thinking because this is how one will get to know if their doing the right thing or not when teaching them. To build up desired behavior have the child come to you and communicate with you some so they’ll have a little knowledge of how one wants you to act in the classroom around others. So just teach the child how to talk to you and to keep it up so the child- teacher relationship is not destroyed by any issues one may cause while learning.

3. I will help a child resolve conflicts by talking to each person and getting both sides of the story. It would not be fair to take up for one child if one knows that the first one is right. For example: Todd and Sarah are fighting over a toy. The only way to see who is right is to ask both of the kids. So Todd did Sarah have this item before you? or did you take it from her? so if he is an honest child he would say yes Ms. Tasia I did so how I would resolve the issue is say okay thank you for being honest Todd now what do you say to Sarah? I’m sorry Sarah so one would say that’s okay Todd. So my solution would be how about you guys share the toy and Todd I’ll give a gold star for being fair and honest and you too Sarah so it is fair. So that is how I would resolve an issue like that.

Second person to respond to:by Elin ShearinNumber of replies: 0

One of the biggest factors in positive behavior is communication. We need to remember that young children are still human and they needed to be treated like one. The best way to communicate with children is to listen. Attentive listening is not just listening with your ears. You also can have gestures that show you are interested in what they are saying and that you are listening. You can nod or smile when you are listening to children talk. When you do give a verbal response, you can say something like, “I see” or “I understand.” Also, don’t interrupt children when they are talking, and don’t rush them. This is important because if they feel like you are rushing them or that you don’t want to hear what they have to say, they will no longer feel that they can express themselves and they won’t practice their language skills. When children ask for help there are three underlying reasons for this. First, they are seeking action or information. Second, they are looking for understanding and attention. Finally, they are looking for inappropriate interactions. It is important to listen and be respectful when young children are seeking you out to help them. One other thing that is important when communicating with children is to use positive instructions rather than negative commands. Our focus is to focus on identifying and stating desired behaviors rather than focusing on inappropriate behaviors. For example, instead of saying “Don’t talk with a full mouth” we should instead say “swallow first, then talk.” This focuses on what we want them to do rather than what we don’t want them to do. We also should use what is called assertive communication. With assertive communication, we are given a way of expressing ideas and feelings that allows a person to stand up for rights while fully respecting the rights of others.

You can help form a sense of belonging and connection with the children in the classroom by simply communicating with them and listening to them. Attentive listening gives children confidence because they feel that what they have to say is important and it also teaches them that this is how they should listen to others. This confidence helps them feel connected to those in the classroom. When young children come to you with underlying requests and needs, it is important to use attentive listening. By listening to children we can find out what it is that they are asking for. Then we can redirect them or communicate with them to help with the underlying issue. Going back to positive instructions, we can use these to get the desired outcomes that we want. Just by restating our words, we can have a better outcome with behaviors. We can say “walk slowly, please” instead of “don’t run in the hall.” By stating it positively, it will be easier to get our desired outcome. Finally, we can help children solve conflicts by teaching them the problem-solving strategy of conflict resolution. With this strategy, two disagreeing parties dissipate their frustration and bring their opposing views to a common solution. Using this method requires active listening and respectful, nonjudgemental communication. At the end of this, every participant should go away feeling satisfied that they had a voice.

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